Hey reader!
I just wanted a pickle. Nothing hard. Nothing complex. I grabbed the jar, expecting a quick twist and snack. But apparently, Hercules himself had closed it. I tried everything—gripping tighter, using a towel for traction, even that awkward under-the-arm torque move. Nothing. Full effort, veins popping, borderline rage. I was one step away from smashing it open when I decided to put it down and walk away.
Five minutes later, I came back. Poof. Like magic, the lid twisted right off.
…And it got me thinking...
How often do we push harder when something isn’t working, convinced that more effort, more frustration, or more force will break through? In sports, coaching, parenting—heck, life—we’re wired to think that success is about grinding through obstacles. And sometimes, it is. But other times, the best move isn’t to push harder—it’s to pause, reset, and shift perspectives.
This is where mental flexibility and emotional agility come into play.
The Trap of Rigid Thinking
It’s easy to get stuck in the mindset that effort alone fixes everything. That if something isn’t working, we just need to double down. More reps, more corrections, more pushing forward. But that kind of rigidity can be dangerous. It leads to frustration, burnout, and missed opportunities for real improvement.
Think about an athlete struggling with a skill. Their instinct is to try harder—gripping tighter, forcing movement, overthinking every step. But often, that just makes things worse. The real fix? Taking a breath, resetting, and adjusting. The best athletes aren’t just physically strong; they’re adaptable.
Emotional Agility: Responding Instead of Reacting
Psychologist Susan David describes emotional agility as the ability to recognize emotions, detach from them, and respond in a way that aligns with long-term goals. It’s what prevents a player from spiraling after a mistake, a coach from overreacting to a loss, or—hypothetically—someone from smashing a pickle jar in frustration.
Instead of reacting impulsively, emotionally agile people pause. They take a step back, assess the situation, and choose how to respond. It’s not about suppressing emotions—it’s about managing them.
When frustration builds, whether in competition, training, or daily life, stepping back for a moment doesn’t mean giving up. It means recalibrating. It means recognizing that trying to force something in the moment might not be the best solution.
The Power of the Pause
There’s a reason great coaches call timeouts at the right moments. Not to stop momentum, but to redirect it. Stepping away—even briefly—allows us to reset our focus, shift our approach, and remove the emotional fog that clouds our thinking.
Sometimes, taking that pause is the hardest thing to do. It feels counterintuitive. But when we allow ourselves that space, we gain clarity. The solution that felt impossible a moment ago suddenly becomes obvious. The lid twists off effortlessly.
Adaptability Over Force
It’s easy to get stuck in patterns—repeating what we’ve always done, simply because that’s the way we’ve done it. But whether it’s in training, coaching, parenting, or daily life, the key to improvement isn’t just effort—it’s adjustment.
This idea reminds me of a recent episode I recorded for Buddha & The Coach about letting go of attachment—especially the attachment to how we think things should be. We cling to expectations, frustrations, and even rigid systems, believing that if we just hold on tighter, we’ll gain control. But the more we force things, the more we struggle. The real growth happens when we learn to release that grip, take a breath, and move forward with intention.
If that idea resonates with you, you might enjoy the full discussion. Check it out here: Buddha & The Coach – Letting Go of Attachment.
So, the next time you find yourself gripping tighter, pushing harder, and getting nowhere—stop. Take a breath. Step back. Then return with a fresh perspective.
That’s not quitting. That’s mental flexibility and emotional agility.
Until next time, remember: #DontSuck and It’s either one day or day one—the choice is yours.
~Dan