What a day to be alive, Reader!
I was at the grocery store the other day, doing what was supposed to be a quick trip, which of course turned into a full cart by aisle five. You know how it goes. I wandered through the produce section, grabbed my usual staples, and somehow ended up in the snack aisle debating if I really needed that new flavor of kettle chips. (Spoiler alert: I did.)
By the time I got to the checkout, the store was starting to fill up. The line at my register had grown long, and the cashier, a teenager probably working an after-school shift, was moving at a steady but, let’s just say, not particularly energetic pace. No big deal; I was not in a hurry. But the customer two spots ahead of me clearly had a different mindset. You could hear the sighing, the exaggerated glances at the watch, the impatient foot tapping. Finally, as they grabbed their bags and walked away, they muttered just loud enough for everyone to hear:
“Kids these days... no work ethic. They just do not care anymore.”
Now, I am not usually one to insert myself in random grocery store drama, so I kept my mouth shut. But that line stuck with me all the way home. Because here is the thing: from where I stood, the cashier was doing her job. She was polite. She was focused. She was not bouncing around with cheerleader energy, but she was there, showing up, getting it done on what looked like a long shift.
And it got me thinking...
Why are we so quick to label young people today as “apathetic” or “lazy”? Especially in sports, I hear this same conversation pop up constantly in coaching circles: “How do we get players to care more about the game?”
But maybe the issue is not that they don’t care. Maybe the issue is that we are not recognizing what care looks like anymore.
The world today’s kids are growing up in is a completely different landscape than the one many of us adults knew. The pace is faster, the pressures are greater, and the emotional weight they carry is heavier in ways we never had to navigate. From social media to academic expectations, to the constant comparison culture they live in, it is no wonder some of them show up to practice or games a little quieter, a little more reserved.
And yet, they show up.
Just because an athlete does not leap out of their seat at every drill does not mean they are not invested. Some players express passion quietly, through consistent effort or personal reflection. Some are fighting perfectionism and fear of judgment, which can look like disengagement on the surface. Others are managing anxiety that would have benched many adults in the same situation.
We need to be careful about confusing visible energy with genuine care.
It is on us as coaches, parents, and mentors to create the kind of environment where players feel safe enough for their enthusiasm to show up. When kids trust that they won’t be shamed for mistakes, or compared relentlessly to peers, or defined only by performance, you would be amazed how their energy changes.
Ask yourself: When was the last time you asked a young athlete, “What do you love about this sport?” instead of “Why don’t you seem to care?”
It is a small shift, but a powerful one.
I will leave you with this story: I once had an athlete who rarely smiled at practice. Head down, serious, quiet. From the outside, some might have called her “apathetic.” One day after the season ended, she sent me a thank you note. In it, she wrote that practice was the best part of her week, that she loved the game, and that she had struggled with anxiety for years but felt safe and supported on our team.
That was a humbling reminder that sometimes, the kids care more than we know. We just need to listen a little better.
So here is my challenge for all of us this week: slow down, look deeper, and instead of labeling a generation as “apathetic,” ask how we can better understand and support them.
Because the more we show them that we care, the more they will too.
If you want a deeper dive into why today’s kids are navigating the world differently, I highly recommend Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation. It really opened my eyes to how the landscape has shifted for them.
Until next time... #DontSuck, and remember: it is either one day or day one. The choice is yours.
Quick note: Our Summer Mental Skills Boot Camp is coming up fast! If you know an athlete who could use tools for confidence, focus, and resilience, this is the perfect opportunity.
Details and registration located here.