Hey Reader, hope you are having an amazing day!
The other day, I was at a diner I hadn’t been to in years, the kind of place where time feels like it hit pause somewhere around 1978. Same faded photos on the wall, same ceiling fans with that slightly-off wobble, same laminated menu with coffee stains baked into the corners. But here's the kicker: when I asked the waitress what the “Diner Deluxe Special” came with, she rattled off a list so random it felt like it came from a dare. Two pancakes, a scoop of tuna salad, home fries, and a side of applesauce.
I had to ask: “Why applesauce?”
She didn’t skip a beat. “It’s always been that way,” she said, like that settled it.
That answer stuck with me through every bite of my breakfast fusion disaster.
And it got me thinking...
How many things do we keep doing in youth sports not because they work, not because they make sense, but because “it’s always been that way”?
Tradition has its place. It can ground us, connect generations, and give meaning to the moments that matter. But it can also act like a heavy anchor, dragging us down while we try to move forward. I see it all the time: the same warm-ups coaches have used since the early 2000s, the same punishment drills, the same rigid roles we assign athletes. And it’s not just the physical stuff. We hang onto communication styles, feedback patterns, even how we schedule practices or choose team captains. There’s a weird sense of pride in saying, “I’ve been doing it this way for 20 years,” as if time alone proves its effectiveness.
But what if time just proves stubbornness?
Take team tryouts. Many clubs still run them like it’s Survivor: who’s left standing after the gauntlet of drills wins a spot. No feedback, no transparency, just a list taped to a wall or posted online. Why? Because “that’s how it’s always been.” And if you dare ask for a better way, you’re seen as soft or disruptive. But here’s the truth: the athletes deserve better. If we say youth sports are about development, then why do we start the year with a process that gives no one the chance to actually learn from it?
And let’s not forget the rituals of punishment that are passed off as discipline. You miss a serve? Run. You drop a pass? Push-ups. You lose a game? Silent bus ride home. Again, the default excuse: “This is how we toughen them up.” But we don’t toughen kids by turning their mistakes into shame cycles. We teach toughness by helping them learn from failure, not fear it.
Tradition, left unchecked, creates a comfort zone that actively resists innovation. That’s where progress dies.
One of the hardest truths in mental performance is that growth often demands discomfort. But when tradition stands guard at the gate, discomfort gets treated like a threat instead of a teacher. We don’t evolve because we’re too busy reenacting a script someone else wrote decades ago. Worse, we start confusing “predictable” with “safe,” and “old school” with “effective.”
I once heard someone say, “If the only reason you're doing it is because that’s how you’ve always done it, it’s probably time to stop.” That’s not just a catchy quote, it’s a battle cry for being better.
This isn’t just about coaching either. Parents, how often have you walked into game day already stressed, rushing out the door, barking orders, forgetting snacks, and arriving with the energy of a tornado? What message does that send? What patterns are we accidentally creating for our kids? If the chaos becomes part of the tradition, how do we expect them to show up calm and focused?
Or athletes: how many of your habits are inherited, not chosen? Do you stretch a certain way, avoid eye contact with the coach when they’re mad, put on your left sock first? Have you ever stopped to ask: does this serve me, or did I just pick it up along the way?
Here’s the ask this week: challenge the traditions.
Ask yourself:
Does this still work?
Does this still matter?
Who does this help, and who does it hold back?
Sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is ask “why?” And the most liberating answer you can give is: “It doesn’t have to be this way anymore.”
Because no one becomes great by eating applesauce just because someone once said it came with the pancakes.
A quick heads-up: I’m cooking up a new podcast episode that dives into this exact theme. I’ll unpack some of the most common youth sports traditions we defend without question and explore what happens when we finally decide to challenge them. Keep your eyes out for that one.
Until then, ask better questions, support each other, and remember:
#DontSuck and It’s either one day or day one. The choice is yours.