Hey Reader!
The other day, I found myself staring at my mint tea like it was a deep philosophical question. I had just finished my second cup of the morning and, as I sipped, I realized I hadn’t really tasted any of it. It was like my mind had already moved on to the next task while my body was still stuck in the routine. I was thinking about a hundred things at once: “Did I send that email?” “What time is my meeting?” “Did I feed the dog yet?” Meanwhile, the tea sat in front of me, lukewarm and forgotten. It’s strange how you can physically do something, like sip tea, and yet not truly experience it. I felt like I was on autopilot, just ticking off tasks one by one, without fully being present for any of them.
And it got me thinking…
Languishing is one of those terms that has been floating around lately, but it perfectly captures the feeling of being stuck in neutral, neither thriving nor completely falling apart. It’s not the same as burnout, where you’re feeling totally drained. It’s more like you’re just... kind of there. You might be going through the motions, ticking things off the to-do list, but nothing really feels meaningful or engaging.
In youth sports, I see this a lot with athletes. Maybe they’ve been doing the same drills over and over, or they’re showing up to practice just because it’s expected, not because they’re excited to improve. As a coach, this can be hard to spot because, on the surface, everything looks fine. The kids are showing up, they’re working hard, but there’s no spark, no drive, no joy. And that’s a problem.
Languishing doesn’t just affect athletes. Coaches, parents, and even the players themselves can all fall into a state where they’re “doing” everything, but none of it feels particularly meaningful. It’s like being stuck in a loop where you’re too exhausted to break out, but not enough to completely check out.
So how do we snap out of this? First, it’s about recognizing the signs. If you’re feeling like you’re constantly going through the motions, ask yourself, “Why am I doing this? Is this still the best way to approach this task, this practice, this relationship?” Sometimes the answer is to shake things up. Maybe it’s time for a new routine, a different drill, or even a change of scenery.
In the coaching world, creating an environment where athletes are encouraged to explore, fail, and try new things is key. When athletes are allowed to play freely, without the pressure to perform perfectly, that’s when the joy of the game starts to shine through. And it’s not just for the athletes—coaches need to find the same joy in teaching and developing, rather than just focusing on the next win.
The trick to breaking out of languishing is simple, but not always easy: it’s about shifting focus. Instead of aiming for perfection or just going through the motions, try focusing on progress. Acknowledging small wins and celebrating incremental improvements can help inject some life back into the process. That is where the magic happens: real growth.
It is about shifting your mindset from simply getting through the day to fully engaging in the present. If you find yourself stuck in a routine that feels flat, ask yourself, “What is the goal here? Am I focused on the process, or am I just trying to get this over with?” It could be something as simple as looking for new ways to make a task more enjoyable, or giving yourself the space to experience small victories that often go unnoticed.
Breaking out of languishing means taking a step back and reflecting on your approach. Are you too focused on results, or can you shift the focus to the journey? Celebrating effort, creativity, and resilience, rather than perfection, can help reignite your passion for whatever you are doing. Whether it is work, sports, or daily life, acknowledging the steps forward, no matter how small, helps you stay connected to your purpose.
If you feel like you are stuck in a rut, consider trying something different. Change the scenery, shake up your routine, or set a new, exciting goal. Even if the result does not always go your way, you will notice something important: you will be more present, more engaged, and more invested in the process.
It is easy to get caught up in the chase for perfection or success, but remember, there is so much more to growth than just winning. When you let go of the pressure to always be perfect or successful, you can start to truly thrive, not just survive.
So, the next time you find yourself staring at your mint tea (or coffee, or whatever gets you through the morning), take a second to check in with yourself. Are you really tasting it, or are you just going through the motions? Whether you're on the court, in the office, or just navigating life, let’s stop pretending like we’re thriving when we’re just surviving. And if all else fails, remember: even a bad cup of tea is still tea. At least it's something.
Keep moving forward, keep breaking the cycles, and, above all, stay present. Because life’s too short to be sipping tea on autopilot.
Until next time… Keep thriving, not just surviving.