IGMT 019: Who's Got Your Back?


OK Reader, it is time to talk about loyalty.

Imagine you’re at a local sports game, yours, a friend’s, or maybe your child’s. You’re sitting in the stands, enjoying the action, when, out of the corner of your eye, you spot a player on the field who seems out of place. They're wearing a new jersey, and they’re playing a position that’s usually filled by someone else. The more you think about it, the more you realize that the roster’s shifted again. The coach seems to have brought in some fresh talent, and, just like that, things feel different.

You’ve been supporting this team for years. You’ve watched the ups, the downs, and everything in between. You’ve helped fundraise, spent countless weekends at practices, and cheered every step of the way. But now, you’re starting to wonder: What about all that loyalty I’ve shown?

...and it got me thinking...

Believe it or not, this scenario is pretty common. It plays out in sports clubs all the time: parents, players, and clubs alike feel the weight of loyalty, whether it's been given or expected. Everyone wants to feel like their commitment counts; everyone wants to know that the effort they put in matters. But sometimes, when things change, that loyalty gets put to the test. And when that happens, the loyalty questions start piling up on all sides.

When we think about loyalty, it’s often tied to a sense of commitment and consistency: I show up, I give my best, and in return, I expect that loyalty to be returned. But what happens when that balance starts to tip? What happens when athletes, parents, and clubs feel loyalty isn’t reciprocated? This is where communication comes into play.

Take a scenario that’s familiar to many: a player who’s been with the same club for years, working hard, improving, and building a sense of loyalty to the team, suddenly finds themselves moved to a lower-level team. It’s a blow to their confidence, and it’s tough to stomach, especially when no one explains why it’s happening or what the plan is for their future. They might even feel as if they’re being discarded.

This is where loyalty gets tricky. It’s not about the decision to move someone to a lower team; it’s about the communication that surrounds it. It’s about talking to players and parents, being transparent about the reasoning behind decisions, and offering a clear plan for the future. Players want to feel like they’re valued, even when things change. And the club’s loyalty can shine through when those tough decisions are communicated thoughtfully.

When decisions are made with transparency, loyalty becomes a shared experience rather than an expectation. Coaches and clubs are tasked with making the tough calls that keep the team competitive, but it’s also their responsibility to build trust by explaining the rationale behind these decisions. It’s not enough to simply move players or shuffle the roster; what truly matters is making sure everyone involved feels heard and understood. Loyalty isn’t just about holding onto the status quo; it’s about developing each player with intention and respect, creating an environment where every athlete understands their place in the bigger picture.

At the same time, loyalty is a two-way street. As parents, you play a crucial role in how your child perceives their experience with the team. Instead of focusing solely on what’s being done to your child, take a step back and think about how you can stay loyal to their journey. If a decision is made that’s difficult for your child to understand, offer them support in processing it. Help them see that loyalty isn’t about staying in one position forever; it’s about continuing to develop, staying committed to growth, and trusting the process. Loyalty in this sense is about helping your child navigate change, not fighting against it.

For players, loyalty doesn’t just mean sticking with the team through thick and thin; it means committing to personal growth, even when things feel uncertain. Moving down a level, being benched, or facing new challenges can be tough, but these moments can be opportunities for growth. Loyalty is about showing up every day with the intention to improve, regardless of where you are on the roster. The team’s success is a reflection of everyone’s collective effort, and your role in that growth, whether you're on the top team or not, matters.

Ultimately, loyalty in sports isn’t about staying in one place forever; it’s about mutual investment. When players, parents, coaches, and clubs work together to nurture this shared commitment, loyalty becomes something deeper than just a feeling; it becomes a true partnership.

Looking back on that game, the shift in dynamics was evident. The new players brought fresh energy, and the veterans stepped up in unexpected ways. What stood out most wasn’t just the players or the plays; it was the understanding that everyone, regardless of position, was part of something bigger. It was a reminder that loyalty isn’t about standing still; it’s about adapting and evolving together, even when the ground beneath us shifts.

Loyalty, at its core, isn’t about where we stand today; it’s about where we’re willing to go together, no matter how the road ahead looks.

Before you go, I'd like to offer a quick side note and shameless plug: My 2025 Mental Skills Boot camp is July 21-24 online. It is a great introduction to the world of mental performance training for athletes of all sports and skills. For more information, visit ​https://dmick.click/bc25kit.

You can use code IGMT25 for 25% off the cost of the camp!

For more resources such as blogs, vlogs, and upcoming webinars, visit DanMickle.com.

Also, visit MentalCast.com for the latest episode of The MentalCast podcast.

Free e-mail courses now offered!
I am pleased to announce I am now offering FREE e-mail courses for players, coaches, parents, and those supporting neurodivergent athletes. [More Info]

Mental Skills Boot Camp 2025 is now open for registration! This is a great introduction to Mental Skills Training for athletes ages 12-18. For more information, visit: 2025 MST Boot Camp

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It Got Me Thinking...

It Got Me Thinking is a must-read newsletter that explores the mental side of performance, offering insights and strategies to strengthen mindset, build resilience, and unlock potential in sports, competition, and everyday life.

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